And the debate winner is....

 

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Although I was intrigued today by an article in the WSJ from Mike Edleson and Andy Puzder, I will not share my views about ESG investing.  Is it moral or amoral?  Sensible or not?  Profitable or not?  Actually I'd like to express myself on these topics but I won't do so publicly.  Suffice it to say, one can make a reasonable case....both for and against ESG investing.  (OK, it's a safe statement).

I will, however, publicly express myself about other equally polarizing topics: foods and beverages!  You won't see me equivocate during these debates.  I can't cover the subject in one post, but here's a sampling of seven culinary flashpoints for low risk debates.

Pizza & Hot Dogs

Possibly America's favorite food, I must have only thin crust pizza with cracker crisp qualities and zesty toppings (toppings is a topic for another post).  To my friends in Chicago; please forgive me, but what you call "Deep Dish Pizza" is actually a satisfying casserole with too much dough.  However, Chicago can lay claim to the finest hot dogs (and I agree, no ketchup on a dog allowed).  For store bought frankfurters; I'm partial to Hebrew National brand.

Martinis

The classic cocktail must be made with Gin not Vodka.  Vodka works with Lemonade and other sugary mixers, but as the featured component, it doesn't work for me. Shaken or stirred?  I don't know.

Coke vs. Pepsi

Talk about polarizing debates!  Cola devotees might never patronize both giant beverage makers, but I do.  Diet Pepsi is not only wildly superior to Diet Coke, but I find Diet Coke almost undrinkable.  Regarding Coke Zero vs Pepsi Zero -- I'll give Coke the edge.

Gluten

Follow your Doctor's or Nutritionist's advice.  Gluten doesn't affect me.

Peanuts

When did this onslaught of Peanut allergies begin?  Why did it begin?  I love these little legumes and Virginia Peanuts are the best I've found.  Please do not serve me the un-salted type and consider serving Peanuts really cold.  That's something I learned from my brother, from another mother.

Charcoal vs. Gas Grilling

For purposes of taste comparison -- there is no comparison.  Charcoal is best.  I sometimes hear the argument about the speed of Gas Grilling, to which I normally respond, "What's your hurry?"  The same principle applies to smokers (the method of food preparation, not people) -- well worth the wait.

Orange Juice

There are few things in this life I find as gratifying as a glass of freshly-squeezed orange juice.  Unfortunately, every substitute for the fresh variety I have found distasteful.  Take McDonald's, I've long believed that their orange juice is the worst-tasting item on the breakfast whole menu.

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Because it's not theirs

This week there was controversy stemming from a publisher's decision to edit versions of children's stories written by the late Roald Dahl.  The edits, whether authorized by Netflix (who according to Forbes purchased the rights to Dahl's work) or the publisher Puffin Books, sparked a public outcry and PR nightmare.

The publisher curated an alternative version to the original work from Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, (a story later adapted to make the film, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory), ostensibly to remove insensitive terms.

There are several reasons why this ill-conceived, if well-intentioned attempt at inclusiveness -- a term becoming increasingly elastic -- failed so miserably.  However, I'm not discussing the evils of censorship today.  Altering original art work to appeal to others is ill advised for another reason.....it's not theirs to change (and doing so will backfire).  

One can obviously own the legal right to another's intellectual property, or the physical manifestation of it, say an oil painting.  Yet, just because one has the enabling force of law to change someone else's original art, doesn't make it right, or sensible, to add a few personal brushstrokes to a classic.  Let me illustrate with an example.  

There's an iconic rock n' roll song called, "Fortunate Son", which was a protest song written about the Vietnam War and recorded by Creedence Clearwater Revival ("CCR") in the late 1960s.  In my opinion it's a great song.

Now, imagine that I purchased the rights to that song and decided to publicly release a NEW version with lyrics, more to my liking.  My justification might be that I want the song to appeal to Conservative listeners; so we need to update the original lyrics.  

We'll leave untouched, the original arrangement, tempo, time signatures etc. but using the wizardry of modern sound engineering, we'll just tweak the vocals a little by dubbing in my new lyrics.  

I rewrote those song lyrics below by crossing out some original words and adding new ones in bold font.  I kept the syllable count of each line exactly the same.  If you read the altered lyrics below, it won't take long to understand why changing someone else's popular artform to impart one's own worldview, is a bad idea and likely to mobilize opposition.  

My apologies in advance to John Fogerty who wrote the song and to CCR fans everywhere. I offer this wordsmithing below only to make a point.  I "own" my edits and nothing more.  Now cue the song, click MORE and let's rock!